In my quest for lean superhero-ness, I’m following the Wendler 5/3/1 strength training program. Twice a week, Dave and I are hitting the craptastic gym in our Converse to lift heavy and crank through a mini-metcon.
I like these shorts.
The craptastic gym invites me to be lazy about my appearance. Usually, no on is there, and if there are a few other souls in that sweaty, stinky box, they’re big, bouncer-type dudes in XXXL black t-shirts and long shorts — or that one skinny, older lady who wears pink spandex and does aerobic moves that indicate she really loved the Jamie Lee Curtis-John Travolta movie Perfect. (See clip below.)
So yeah, usually my hair is in a frizzed out ponytail, and I’m wearing whatever mismatched knee socks, shorts, and tank I can find with my eyes half-closed as I wake up and get dressed.
Today, all of my usual workout clothes were in the laundry — how is that I work from home and the laundry room is rightthere and still can’t get the laundry done? — so I grabbed a pair of shorts from the bottom of the drawer. Hey, I forgot about these!
They’re black shorts with gold metallic trim, and they are damn cute. Along with my “Bad Ass” socks and black Converse, I was color coordinated and comfortable. What more can a girl ask for?
At the gym, I loaded the bar for my first set of deadlifts and looked at myself in the mirror. (Yes! It’s terribly-awesome… the craptastic is lined with mirrors so I can both check myself out and make faces at myself while I lift.) So… I looked at myself in the mirror. These particular black shorts are a little shorter than the ones I’ve been wearing lately, so I could see a good deal of my thighs.
My thighs looked like hams, and it was totally badass.
They are not skinny, but they’re not fat. They’re not ripped, but they’re not flabby. They’re not spindly, but they’re not overly big. They’re solid. Like a tasty ham.
For the rest of the workout, my mantra was a sing-song-y, I have thighs like ha-ams. I have thighs like ha-ams. It’s not exactly Sanskrit poetry, but I liked it… especially when those hams busted out 10 deadlifts at 85% of my max.
PVC shoulder mobility
10 slow PVC back squats
10 slow PVC OH squats
10 behind-the neck press + 10 good mornings
5 @ 65% of max = 110#
5 @ 75% of max = 135#
max reps @ 85% of max = 145# – I did 10.
5 @ 65% of max = 55#
5 @ 75% of max = 65#
max reps @ 85% of max = 70# – I did 7.
5 push press, 70#
5 push jerk, 70#
5 rounds, not for time:
5 perfect pushups, on the minute
5 inverted pullups, on the minute
Did you workout today? Tell us about it!
As promised: the best clip ever from Perfect.
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